Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

If you are having trouble in your relationship, you are not alone. Most couples go through difficult periods and struggle from time to time. This is true for both healthy and unhealthy relationships. The question for many is knowing when to seek help from a qualified marriage therapist.

On average, research shows that couples wait six years from the onset of problems before seeking help. No one knows for sure why. It might have something to do with their fear of being blamed for the problems. Or it could be that they just don’t realize that they have developed patterns of communication that are destructive to their marriage or relationship until they get a wake-up call. The wake-up call may come in the form of a crisis like an affair, or it may be subtle, like realizing that you are not feeling or receiving the love, fondness, admiration or connection that you once did.

Whether you are going through a rough patch or a crisis, marriage counseling can help. The sooner you respond to problems, the faster you and your partner will be able to get your relationship back on track. My approach is based on the latest marital research and methods of Dr. John Gottman and the Gottman Institute.

Gottman Couples Therapy, is steeped in decades of research involving real life couples. The interventions and techniques are based on science and hard data and aimed at strengthening & repairing your relationship. This “nuts and bolts” approach to working with couples provides you with the tools and skills that will get results. These results include increased relationship success, higher levels of relationship satisfaction and intimacy, and fewer future relapses (instances of regressing to previously unhelpful behavior and/or dynamics).

My sessions are very structured, with each session building upon the previous one. I will provide you with a thorough assessment, a focused treatment plan and feedback based on Gottman's Sound Relationship House – the foundations of a healthy and satisfying relationship. We will focus on your friendship, how you approach conflict and how you support dreams and aspirations for yourselves and each other.

The goal of couples’ therapy is to rebuild the love you have for each other, guide you in repairing your relationship wounds, and teach you the skills to build and maintain a positive, functioning, and healthy relationship at home.

You will learn and practice various tools in session with me, and eventually utilize them at home, as part of your relationship lifestyle, without me present. I give home assignments using handouts that are designed to address the issues we are working on that week. As a result, new relationship skills are developed to effectively navigate and manage the challenges that relationships encounter.

My clients have told me, that they appreciate my process and style, and are often surprised how quickly they begin to feel better about themselves, their partner and the world around them.

I work with all kinds of relationships, domestic partners, married, engaged, straight, gay and lesbian couples. I offer private couple counseling sessions and extended couple counseling sessions for couples traveling from out of town.

If you like what you have read and you think I could help you and your relationship, please call my office for a free consultation at 415-454-8931 or email me at thomkesslertherapist@gmail.com